Jennifer Love Hewitt is my celebrity crush right now
I don’t know… I don’t know… I don’t know…
Captain James Hook: No stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don’t make a move Smee, not a step. My finger’s on the trigger. Don’t try to stop me, Smee.
Smee: Oh, not again.
Captain James Hook: This is it. Don’t try to stop me this time, Smee. Don’t try to stop me this time, Smee. Don’t you dare try to stop me this time, Smee, try to stop me. Smee, you’d better get up off your ass. Get over here, Smee!
Smee: I’m coming. I’m coming.
Captain James Hook: Stop me! This is not a joke! I’m committing suicide!
[Smee makes the gun go off which aims at the toy ship in the pool model]
Captain James Hook: Don’t ever frighten me like that again.
Smee: I’m sorry.
Captain James Hook: What are you? Some kind of a sadist?
Smee: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. How do you feel now?
Captain James Hook: I want to die.
Smee: [kisses him] Oh, now, now.
Captain James Hook: There’s no adventure here.
Smee: [hold out Hook’s gun] You call this no adventure?
Captain James Hook: Death is the only adventure I have left, Smee.
“
—
Hook
Rufio: Boil-dripping, beef, fart-sniffing bubble butt!
Kids: Bangarang, Rufio!
Peter Banning: Someone has a severe ca-ca mouth, you know that?
Rufio: You are fart factory, Slug-slimed, sack-of-rat-guts-in-cat-vomit, cheesy, scab-picked, pimple-squeezing finger bandage. A week old maggot burger with everything on it and flies on the side!
Kids: [in unison] Ugh!
Peter Banning: Substitute chemistry teacher.
Lost Boy: Come on, Rufio, hit him back.
Rufio: Mung tongue.
Peter Banning: Math tutor.
Rufio: Pinhead.
Peter Banning: Prison barber.
Rufio: Mother lover.
Peter Banning: Nearsighted gynecologist.
Rufio: In your face, camel cake!
Peter Banning: In your rear, cow derrière.
Rufio: Lying, crying, spying, prying ultra-pig.
Peter Banning: You lewd, crude, rude, bag of pre-chewed food dude.
Thud Butt: [with the rest of the Lost Boys] Bangarang, Peter!
Rufio: You… you man! Stupid, stupid man!
Peter Banning: Rufio, if I’m a maggot burger why don’t you eat me! You two-toned zebra-headed, slime-coated, pimple-farmin’ paramecium brain, munchin’ on your own mucus, suffering from Peter Pan envy!
Don’t Ask: What’s a paramecium brain?
Peter Banning: I’ll tell you what a paramecium is! That’s the paramecium! It’s a one-celled critter with no brain, that can’t fly! Don’t mess with me man, I’m a lawyer!
“
—
Hook
Testing?
I finally caved and got one of these things… Confused.